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Parents, Stop Loving Your Children

By Jesse Jost

I’m gonna admit right up front that my title was a shameless attempt to get your attention so you would read my thoughts.

I was raised with certain treasured beliefs that have shaped me and the environment that I grew up in: The father needs to take leadership in the home and protect his lambs from destructive influences. One of the most fulfilling (but not the only) roles a woman can play is to be a mother and mold and inspire the next generation of leaders. Children are a blessing and God in his sovereign wisdom can be trusted to know the best number of children for you. Homeschooling is an amazing and effective way to tailor your child’s education to his unique strengths and interests so he can reach his full potential. The family is a unit built by God with each individual specially gifted in ways that complement the whole and empowers greater ministry. Modesty and sexual purity are keys to a great sex life.

I believe each of these ideas is firmly supported in scripture. My parents implemented these convictions in ways that led to a rich, fulfilling childhood and left me feeling inspired to take on the world and its challenges and embark on a journey to obey God’s calling on my life. I am the oldest of eleven children and the product of a home and lifestyle that is coming under attack. Families who hold these ideas are being derisively labeled “patriarchal, quiver-full, daughters-stay at-home-till-marriage, fundamentalist cultists.” Continue reading…

  • Barbara

    Dear Jesse,

    I thank God for your ability to express so clearly what many of us feel. You have hit the proverbial nail on the head. I do agree with Teresa’s comment on spiritual abuse as I have seen the damage that has come in the name of Jesus 🙁

    With much respect for you and your ministry. Continue to walk with boldness in God’s grace.

  • Christina

    Just came across this and want to say thanks for your great thoughts on this matter. I’ve been disturbed by the recent trend in former homeschoolers – some I knew personally – to bash their parents and everything they were raised on. I was raised in a homeschooling, conservative Christian home and though I never rebelled, I had some problems with the way my parents raised us. But the moment I became a parent it hit me that someday my own child whom I love with all my heart will disagree with something we choose to do in raising him. And I realized just how grateful I was to my parents for all they’ve done for me!

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The Ten Things My Parents Did For Me that I Appreciate Most

 

big josties

By Jesse Jost

As a parent, I am terrified to look around and see how many young people are walking away from their faith and the convictions they were raised with. They willfully plunge into the life of pain and heartache that their parents tried so hard to spare them from. Some families are losing more kids than others. I wonder, is this just because some parents are given children who are the “elect” and others aren’t? I’ve heard parents are not the ones to blame when their children walk away. I have no desire to heap blame upon parents who are already devastated by the choices their children have made, but while I am in the throes of raising my own kids, I desperately want to believe that there are things I can do that will make a difference in my children. I know kids are not programmable robots; they are free to choose as they will. I know there are no foolproof methods that can guarantee that my children will stay faithful in their walk with God. But at the same time, I do believe that parents somehow impact their kids’ future choices. I think it would be irresponsible to just chew my fingernails nervously on the sidelines, hoping they make the right choice.

So often, though, solutions to one problem have hidden consequences. You want to shelter your kids from the negative influence of media (clearly a good idea!) but you may find that this results in your kids being prideful and critical, two attitudes that greatly hinder our walk with God. On the flip side, parents who don’t want to raise Pharisees and so let their kids participate in whatever the crowd is doing may find that the counterfeit pleasures of a godless life have left their kids with no desire for the things of God. Sigh. What can be done? Continue reading…

  • dana

    This was an excellent read. Thank you.

  • Patience

    Great insight! Thanks.

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My Life as a Sweetie Pie

By Jesse Jost

This morning when I woke up I made the highly inadvisable decision to be a sweetie pie husband. I romantically envisioned a morning where I make my wife breakfast in bed and tell her not to  get up until I have cleaned the house. Unfortunately she has left the bedroom by the time I get out of the bathroom. She is already making oatmeal for the kids and planning our menu for the week. A diet inspired by the “Trim Healthy Mama” craze. I am cool with the diet principles but have a hard time telling the guys at work that I am on a “trim healthy mama” diet. So I am rechristening  this diet “Trim Healthy Beast.” Regardless of the name, my wife and I are stuck with “s-meal” foods for breakfast. And before you censors get your knickers in a knot, “s” stands for satisfying and means no digestible carbs allowed. I know, go figure! My breakfast is easy – scrambled eggs and flax bread. My wife, due to her egg allergy can have neither. So while I am commanding her to go back to bed, she is delaying by adding cinnamon and honey into the kids’ oatmeal and making some kind of coconut oil protein smoothie. I command her again to go to bed. Again delay. After 7.5 years of marriage, she is still getting used to this patriarchal home thing. She obeys and takes her food into the bedroom. She reappears again and, despite my protests, comes back for her meal planning calendar. I urge her to rest. She says this will make the rest of the week more restful. She finally submits and retires into the cozy warmth.

Now onto my tasks of breakfast and cleaning. I prepare my eggs and toast and help the kids with their oatmeal. John-Michael (6)loves this breakfast and has three bowls. Sophia (4) is in her never-ending creative phase and is too busy cutting paper into tiny triangles to be interested breakfast. Continue reading…

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The Most Important Thing You Can Teach Your Children

 

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-photography-mountain-top-image26061842By Jesse Jost

As the father of three children so far, I have spent a lot of time pondering the impact I want to have on my kids. We are choosing to homeschool our children to maximize our control of the factors that we believe will lead them to the most fulfilling life. It is our sobering responsibility to train them and mold them. As a parent I never want to play god in my children’s life. It is not my job to make sure they conform to my dreams and goals for their life. At the same time, I believe that God has put these children in our care for a reason. And we have a duty to our Creator to instill in our kids the ideas and goals that He wants us to. I will stand before God some day and give an account of what I taught my kids. I don’t know about you, but I want to get this right! Continue reading…

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Are you “Damaged Goods?”

By Jesse Jost

I just read a blog post this morning where a Christian woman was decrying elements of the purity movement that make those who had a sexual past feel like they were damaged goods and worthless. She mentioned the shame she felt when a speaker demonstrated the pollution that promiscuity brings by having a row of boys spit in a cup and then asking a girl at the end if she wanted to drink the vile mixture. The preacher concluded that those who sleep around are like that cup of spit, and who would ever want to drink from that? The blogger went on to bemoan all the “baggage from this whole purity movement (that is)heading out into the world.” Her rant raises some pressing questions. Are women and men who engage in extramarital sex whole and undamaged? Is the only reason they feel damaged because our warnings create needless guilt?

I feel very strongly about the “purity movement.” I have spoken to many groups and camps about purity and spilled much ink on the subject. I take her concerns and accusations seriously. My passion for the subject of purity comes not from wanting to heap guilt on people, or simply shame them for choosing a different path than Heidi and I did. Our desire is for people to find wholeness and the deep pleasure that comes from holy, sanctified sex. Here are some thoughts I had in response to this young woman’s concerns. Continue reading…

  • Sid

    Damaged goods sexually is much different than damaged goods for backbiting etc. in my view and you noted some of the reasons. One of the main reasons will be jealous your spouse’s potential jealousy. Few men or women will get it out of their minds that their partners shared themselves with strangers or another lover. Why? Because they know memories exist and even years later places like Facebook reignites flame for old lovers. Why? Those old lovers were supposed to be the husband or wife but instead used as experiments of a moments desire, not a planned relationship.

  • Sid

    Sorry for the typo in the second sentence. It would not let me edit.

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How movies influence us (and how to take advantage of it)

movie article

By Jesse Jost

Movies are a wonderful gift. They can cause you to laugh together, releasing stress and family tension. They can arouse a new awareness of the grandeur and beauty of God. Movies can have a tremendous effect on us, and because of this, there is a lot of fear and concern about the impact movies have on our lives, both morally and spiritually. Even though movies have been with us for over 100 years, there still seems to be a lot of confusion about how exactly they influence us. Many people are quick to assume that movies impact us negatively and they see little potential for positive impact. It seems to me that if movies really do have the power to change us, then isn’t it possible for them to change us for the better as well? I certainly am not going to be able to answer all the questions about the impact movies have on our lives, but I would like to give you some things to think about that will hopefully help guide your movie making decisions. Continue reading…

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God’s prescription for life-long romance

By Jesse Jost (Taken from Extreme Romance)

The gift of romance and physical intimacy

God loves to give His children good gifts! His creativity, wisdom, and love manifest themselves in the varied pleasures He bestows on us. But with any gift, there is a right way and a wrong way to enjoy it. We can maximize the enjoyment of the gift or misuse it so badly that it actually becomes a curse. With each gift comes a responsibility to not let it go to waste or to use it improperly.

Continue reading…

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Sexually Compatible?

How can we know if we are sexually compatible if we don’t do some experimenting?

By Jesse Jost (Taken from Extreme Romance)

Sexual compatibility is not simply a matter of two people finding someone else with the right genetic make-up. Sexual attraction is a very complex issue. For whatever reason, some people will be more sexually attractive to you than others. People will argue that you should marry someone who really turns you on sexually. I agree that there should be lots of spark and attraction in marriage, but I disagree that we need to find our certain “type” to be sexually satisfied. Learning how to be satisfied sexually and how to satisfy your spouse is an art that has to be learned. Movies and novels will sell you the idea that all you have to do is put two sexually compatible people together and their experience will be wonderful. It is easy to create that perfect scenario in fantasy, but in real life there are so many more issues that have to be worked through. Continue reading…

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Highly recommended Apologetics Resources

Recommended Books on Apologetics

Basic

I Don’t Have Enough Faith to be an Atheist by Frank Turek and Norm Geisler

Between Heaven and Hell by Peter Kreeft

The Case for the Resurrection of Jesus by Michael Licona and Gary Habermas

The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel

The Case for Faith by Lee Strobel

The Case for a Creator by Lee Strobel

The Case for the Real Jesus by Lee Strobel

Intermediate

Jesus Under Fire General Editors J.P. Moreland and Michael Wilkins

Handbook of Christian Apologetics by Peter Kreeft and Ron Tacelli

Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

True for You But Not For Me by Paul Copan

That’s Just Your Interpretation by Paul Copan

The Reason for God by Timothy Keller

Advanced

Reasonable Faith by William Lane Craig

Scaling the Secular City by J.P. Moreland

Great Apologetics Websites

www.str.org (Greg Koukl)

www.equip.org (Hank Hanegraaff)

www.apologetics315.blogspot.com (A terrific collection of audio debates and messages)

www.tektonics.org (A good place to resolve bible difficulties)

www.rzim.org  (Ravi Zacharias)

  • Brad

    Good list. I think I own more than half of these titles. John Piper’s God is the Gospel is also a great title to consider.

    Brad

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What is Christian Apologetics?

Apologetics comes from the Greek word, apologia, meaning defense. Apologetics is the spiritual discipline that provides reasons for belief. Apologetics seeks to prove that Christianity is not only rooted in history and evidence, but is also consistent with and corresponds with reality. It also seeks to answer objections such as: “how could a good God send someone to hell? Is Jesus really the only way? Why has the church been so hypocritical and brutal?”

Biblical Support for Apologetics:

1 Peter 3:15, “But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear.”

2 Cor 10:4-5, “For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.”

Phil. 1:17, “But the latter [preach Christ] out of love, knowing that I am appointed for the defense of the gospel.”

Jude 3,  “Beloved, while I was very diligent to write to you concerning our common salvation, I found it necessary to write to you exhorting you to contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all delivered to the saints.”

Titus 1:9, “ holding fast the faithful word as he has been taught, that he may be able, by sound doctrine, both to exhort and convict those who contradict.”          

2 Timothy 2:24-25, “And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth.”

Isaiah 1:18, “‘Come now, and let us reason together,’ says the LORD, ‘Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool.’”

Matt 22:37, “Jesus said to him, ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’”

1 Thess 5: 21, “Test all things; hold fast what is good.”

2 Cor.5:20, “Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God.”

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