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Modesty Reconsidered

July 18, 2017
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By Jesse Jost

Until women stop having curves and men stop having libidos, I doubt the modesty issue will go away quietly.

Women have many reasons for what they wear and evaluations of those reasons have been discussed at length elsewhere. What I want to explore now is the effect some kinds of modesty teaching have on the male brain.

I have grown up in circles with a pretty clear understanding that women should dress modestly so that they are not “defrauding” or a “stumbling block” to men and boys. It is common to hear that men have enough trouble with the battle for purity without Christian women adding to men’s distraction with careless dress. I was also raised to avert my eyes away from a woman who dressed “immodestly.”

The ideas behind guarding your eyes are admirable:

– Look away before arousal kicks in and you find yourself being led astray by the deceptive passion of lust.

– It’s a fact that what we fixate on sexually retrains our sexual taste, and if we are lustfully gazing on porn or other women, then we could become less satisfied with the wife that God has given us. And worse, if a wife knows her husband has a wandering eye, his comparing her to other women can make her feel an increasing sense of inadequacy.

– The two best reasons to guard your eyes are 1) the example of Job who “made a covenant with his eyes to not look lustfully on a young woman,” and 2) the teaching of Jesus who said that “looking lustfully” at a woman is the equivalent of mental adultery.

Modesty teaching has some worthy elements (you can read my previous thoughts on modesty here and the importance of guarding your eyes here). But lately I have been realizing that there are some ways that Satan twists these ideas and they can become destructive forces in the battle for purity, the most destructive of which is this: the way to combat men’s lust is through “modesty.”

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The Birth Story of Eric Spurgeon

July 16, 2017
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by Jesse Jost

Two years to the day after our son Justin was born we awoke in the maternity ward with broken hearts and an empty womb. Our little Emmy left us to join her sibling Davey in heaven at 11 weeks pregnant. Heidi haemorrhaged fairly seriously and was taken by ambulance to Lethbridge the night before. As I looked at Heidi’s pale shaking body, I begged God for more time with her. God spared her and the following week was filled with sadness but also euphoria and fresh love between Heidi and me.

We both felt so carried. But the thing that made this miscarriage harder than last time was how hard it hit our kids, especially 7 year old Sophia. She thought for sure this was a girl and she would finally have her sister. It’s so hard to watch your little girl cry herself to sleep. But it is a faith builder to see how God uses these things to reveal Himself to our kids. Sophia has often said how God comforted her during those dark times.

A couple months later the pregnancy test read positive. Hope was mingled with anxious thoughts, just what adventure would this little baby take us on? Elijah who loves the story of how he arrived after a miscarriage, was fully confident that this baby would arrive safely just like he did. Mommy and Daddy really wanted to believe this, but knew that God’s ways are mysterious and not always our ways.

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  • Rachael • July 17, 2017

    Hello Josts!
    My name is Rachael Miller and I am familiar with your family because of TKSA when I went up to the Wahl’s while they still lived in Montana with my grandma. I first read your work and Heidi’s in the two books we received from the week: “If only you knew” and the other one about romance. (“Extreme Romance” ???) I was so excited for find your blog on here, and this post really sticks out to me because my husband and I just went through a painful miscarriage back in October of 2015. I am actually in the process of writing a book about our story to share because I feel like miscarriage is an issue that a lot of people don’t talk about and it happens a lot more often than I ever thought. I hope to publish this year. Thank you for sharing your story!

  • Karen Davis • July 18, 2017

    Thank you for your timely words of testimony and encouragement. They were needed more than you will ever know! We have 7 sweet little ones safe with Jesus, and 7 here on earth (2 from adoproom). Our most recent joy is our 11 month old son Jaidon. While every one is a miracle…he is extra special. We had lost 4 in a row before him and 2 of them being ectopic. It was brutal and traumatic to say the least. I ended up losing a tube and damaging the other beyond recognition (according to Drs). They told us having more children was impossible. 2 years later….the Lord did the impossible…we were pregnant and the baby was safely and securely in the womb. Our son Jaidon was born healthy and beautiful, and continues to be a constant reminder of Gods will, timing, and goodness. A testimony for His glory!
    Now we find ourselves praying and trusting again as we wait for results on a mass/ lump in my abdomen. Oh the battle that ensues in the wait on our minds and thoughts!
    Continually reminding myself of His goodness and miracles looking at all He has done and continues to do in our lives. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away….blessed be the name of the Lord!
    Thank you again for your family’s faithfulness, transparency, and hearts for our Jesus. We will be praying for sweet Heidi and your family!
    In Joy for Jesus, Nolan & Karen Davis & family

  • Jesse Jost • July 18, 2017

    Wow, we will be praying! I know God is a God who loves to restore what is broken, and bring such beauty from the ashes. Thank you for praising Him in your storms.

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